BigFatOofta

I'm convicted. I'm a taker.   Ok, so when we pursue a relationship with someone, what is our motive?  Be honest.  I have been real with myself and it isn't pretty.  Do we want to feel liked? approved of? Popular?  Fulfilled?  Not alone? Known?  Are we trying to "escape" something?"  What happens when there is bitterness that comes into a relationship?  Why does this happen? Is it because we had expectations from that relationship, and the person failed you or hurt you in some way?  Disappointed because they didn't fill one of relational voids you were trying to fill?  Basically, are you a relational taker?  So often, I am. The Lord is convicting me.  So. We all have cravings, right?  I'm not talking about those for ice cream, pizza, chocolate, etc (although those are totally legit!).  I'm talking about cravings of the flesh.  One of mine is to be known and understood.  To be approv...

Shame ... all the way back to the garden, the sin of Adam and Eve originated shame. This shame was legitimate in the sense that Adam and Eve had grieved the Holy Spirit. He was tugging at their hearts, allowing them to experience remorse for the first time, the consequence of sin, separator between God and man.  However, because sin entered the world, we are faced with the temptation to take on another brand of shame.   Gospel-less shame. Gospel-less shame is a pit where no grace is present; it is from the great deceiver, the serpent who would have us always hoping in personal expectations or expectations from others...anything but Christ and the Gospel.  The deceiver's shame will mountain over us, and cast on us a shadow of failure and hopelessness when the expectations are not met...a weighty, relentless burden.   Caution :   If we are feeling hopeless, defeated, overwhelmed and guilty at our own failures and give up on oth...

I love our apartment. I love burning candles. I love cleaning my son's ears because it's actually productive...I've always had wax envy.  Call me gross.   Bumbo's are awesome for babies, helping them to sit by themselves, etc.  But, what happens when our babies' fat legs outgrow them but us mommas still want to use them?  why oh WHY, can't they invent....wait for ittttt...the "JUMBO BUMBO!?" I hate clumpy mascara.  I mean, who wants to walk around looking like they have clumps of tar on their lashes?  Not this girl.  My brain feels like goulash....how in tarnation do you spell that anyway ?  and my head feels like lead....my eyes are starting to droop...yet my feet still feel like dancin!   I want thoughts to flow from my brain to my fingers.  Fingers...Mmmmm wish i had some right now...of the chicken sort.  With BBQ sauce.  Remembering the time when we were "just friends" that Jos...

Ok, so I have this disgusting tendency to dissect, massacre and choose the choice pieces of my food. I think that my family, friends and husband alike can attest to this. To name a few: Picking out and eating every single yogurt covered cheerio in the box, picking out all the M&M's or chocolate pieces from trail mix, eating muffin tops and then picking the blueberries out of the rest of the muffin leaving a sad heap of crumbs (that I may or may not come back to), eating only the parts of the chocolate chip cookie that has chips in it, biting holes in raisin bagels where the raisins are and leaving the rest, eating the cookie dough out of the ice cream, taking bites out of truffles to see if I like them (from the bottom of course), and....well...you get the picture. Oh...well...one more thing...Katie (my sister) will never forgive me for sucking out all the creme from a whole bag of caramel cremes (bullseyes), and leaving the chewed up/spit out caramel in a lovely caramel scul...

Some people might say that Joshua and I are VERY much alike...that we think, act, relate, work, everything the same way.  Actually, many people  have  told us that.  Hoooowwwweeevvverrrrr......while I could create a whole reallyreallyreallyREALLY long list on how we are indeed very much alike, I thought I might write just a few ways that we are NOT alike...at all...for the lighthearted fun of it.  ;)  Joshua...I'll try not to go tooooo personal here... ;) Oh...also, I'm gonna refer to Joshua as "J" here b/c I can write this blog a whole lot more quickly (something "J" probably wouldn't do if he were writing about me ;) ) Disclaimer: I LOVE the differences we have and love laughing and teasing each other about them, and working on compromising or changing some of the things that are different that have a tendency to annoy the other.  Just sayin'.... 1) Words. ways in which they are spoken.  Meanings. J takes all of it quite seriously, ...

I already posted this a while back ago on facebook, but I am re-posting as it is exACTLY where I am at today... Head is spinning heart is crying not sure where to go what to do what to say this just never ends i can't find focus I can't find calm I'm anxious oh so anxious but must not be anxious must not because that is not of You Lord but where do I go when I am not sure how I got here or where I really am I mean where am I really I can't figure out what's wrong except I've been trying to be fine on my own coming to God when my way isn't working or when times are hard but wait times aren't hard they have been harder so again why am I here I want to praise Him i want to trust Him I want to know Him I want to wait for Him wait silently for Him He is my hope but I've been too prideful for my hope too busy for my love too impatient to wait too loud to wait silently too selfish to praise Him too arrogant to trust Him it's called sin I'm over...

Today I want to write a blogpost that is funny. Light. Egregious (ok, mostly just wanted to write the word egregious).  However.  I am not feeling any of the three adjectives just listed.  Rather, I'm feeling rather heavy and exhausted physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally.   I was blessed with the reminder of Psalm 103:1-5 this am by a sweet note by my husband (*sings* he wrote me a note! he wrote me a note! *huge smile*).     "Bless the  Lord , O my soul,      and all that is within me,      bless his holy name! 2  Bless the  Lord , O my soul,      and  forget not all his benefits, 3  who  forgives all your iniquity,      who  heals all your diseases, 4  who  redeems your life from the pit,      who  crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, 5  who  satisfies you...