SHAME vs SHAME

Shame...all the way back to the garden, the sin of Adam and Eve originated shame. This shame was legitimate in the sense that Adam and Eve had grieved the Holy Spirit. He was tugging at their hearts, allowing them to experience remorse for the first time, the consequence of sin, separator between God and man.  However, because sin entered the world, we are faced with the temptation to take on another brand of shame.  Gospel-less shame. Gospel-less shame is a pit where no grace is present; it is from the great deceiver, the serpent who would have us always hoping in personal expectations or expectations from others...anything but Christ and the Gospel.  The deceiver's shame will mountain over us, and cast on us a shadow of failure and hopelessness when the expectations are not met...a weighty, relentless burden.  

Caution:  If we are feeling hopeless, defeated, overwhelmed and guilty at our own failures and give up on others in bitterness because of their failures that lack "shame," (aka you don't feel satisfaction that they feel bad for what they've done) then it is very likely there is an idol problem.  One that looks like Christ as second to yourself or people.  We all have idols, and when we are dealing with the wrong sort of shame, idols may show up as:

-Fear of man; Running a hamster wheel of performance based acceptance. Trying to "win" acceptence from God and people. Motivated to love others with the goal of "feeling good" about ourselves or making ourselves feel "worthy."  Anything to not feel the "shame" of past failures. Fear of man can easily lead to.....

-Pride;  If we "do well" on something for any length of time, if not motivated correctly, or not relying on the grace of the Holy Spirit, we are left to rely on ourselves.  We will puff up with pride at how far "we" have come, how well "we" are doing.  Which, if we then have a sin reoccurrance (which we always do when only living by our flesh), we set ourselves up for:

-Self contempt; When we are not seeing ourselves in the eyes of Christ, freed because of the Gospel, and when we base our worth off of performance and motivations without Christ, we will disappoint ourselves, loathe that we are feeling shame again, and start to condemn ourselves/feel self-contempt. This can sometimes lead to....

-Addictions;  If we get ourselves in a rut of trying to succeed on our own, or making others our "savior," when we make anything but Christ most beautiful, we can lose sight of the Gospel, stop practicing self-discipline and give into addictive sins.  If our heart is not daily washing in the healing power of the Gospel, and reading the WORD, the sword of TRUTH, we have no sustaining weapons/motivation to fight and eventually may cave into addictions. Unchecked addictions will distort truth; black becomes gray, leaving us in great danger of spiraling into deeper shame, deeper misery. Which, then, can open the door to:

-Isolation;  Deep shame and disappointment in self and others, can cause us to despair and withdraw from people, and draw deeper into ourselves which then equals:

-Fear of intimacy; Fear to be vulnerable so no one knows our shame.  To be known by anyone without the grace of the Gospel from others (or yourself) is quite terrifying.  Lethal. Damning.  

-Self-pity; We may grow so weary of living a life of idolatry and shame, that we could start to get a convoluted comfort in how "hard" life is.  How lonely and miserable and unfulfilled life is...How unjust life is.  Self-pity can become our new identity.

NOW...

I realize that the manifestation of shame in one's life as a result of idolatry (aka not seeing Christ as most beautiful or living in light of the Gospel) will look different for each person.  What I just listed above are simply examples that could easily play out.

For someone who claims the Gospel, who surrender's their life to Christ and who claims victory and salvation in Him, it is crucial to understand what is Spirit given shame (which I'll talk about in a moment) and shame heaped on by the enemy. When we as believers drink the cup of the enemy's lies, there is an identity issue that attacks our very being instead of things we have done.  

Illegitimate shame leads to legalism;  Punishment, condemnation and a pit with no grace present, rather, a mountain of broken/unmet expectations.  Futile efforts.
 Jude 12 paints a vivid picture:
"These are hidden reefs at your love feasts, as they feast with you without fear, shepherds feeding themselves; waterless clouds, swept along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted; wild waves of the sea, casting up the foam of their own shame; wandering stars, for whom the gloom of utter darkness has been reserved forever."    

So, what does legitimate shame look like?
CONVICTION, NOT CONDEMNATION.

The cross was for our salvation, yes, but it was for the healing of brokenness, and cleansing of sin. It was all of our sins, everything we deserve, nailed to the cross once and for all.  Sin is broken.  The perfect one has risen.  This perfect one is our grace, our help, our King, our desire, our complete fulfillment, our motivation, our strength, our everything!  He has gifted us with His Spirit to convict us when we sin.  Yes, that's right, I'll say it again.  CONVICT.  That's the difference in legitimate shame and illegitimate shame.  Legitimate shame comes from a conviction from the Holy Spirit, which then leads to repentance, which then leads to forgiveness, which then leads to healing and growing and life! Freedom. 

2 Cor: 7:10: "For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death."

Friends, we need the Word, we need prayer, we need the desire (and prayer for the desire) to make Christ most beautiful and our ultimate pursuit.  We need a daily washing of our earthly sinful flesh with the Gospel, or else it will very quickly let the disease of sin overtake it.  We must take the shame of sin, and instead of taking it as our identity, Hate it and kill it. Love and practice grace and mercy, and do ALL of this with the help of the Holy Spirit. 

Jude 1:20-23: " But you, beloved, building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ that leads to eternal life. And have mercy on those who doubt;save others by snatching them out of the fire; to others show mercy with fear, hating even the garment stained by the flesh."

  

TRUTH: Once we confess, are released, freed, forgiven, healed...there is no room for self pity or wallowing in shame. There is only room for the joy that comes from our hope in the Lord, who is our true identity in which we take root.
Romans 15:13: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Hebrews 12:2: "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."