BigFatOofta

Marriage.  I've been reflecting on my love for my amazing husband today... We have so much fun together, share so much love, and are so incredibly  suited for each other.  But...there comes with that being sinful human beings coming together and learning how to better love the other.  How to care for the other in a way that is received (unique to each person) as love.  Marriage, as wonderful as it is, is a fight.   Fight to love Christ most and die to self.  Fight to love selflessly and humbly and generously.  Fight with grace.  Fight with surrender, ultimately, of the other person to our Lord.   I wrote this song for Joshua recently as we have been working through some deep heart issues...and to me it is the crux of how I can best love my man.  If I want to love him best, I need to surrender him to the one who is perfect.  The true ultimate lover.  I'll share it with you all...  Its called:  GIVE YOU ...

"Find rest, oh my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God' He is my mighty rock, my refuge.  Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Ps. 62: 5-8 Father God,  You are my rest, my portion.  I am tempted to sit in my feelings.  Feelings of being downcast. Tired. Hungry with the unmet demands of my cravings. Hopeless. I want to just wallow in melancholy.  But I won't.  YOU are my hope, you are my fortress.   You are my help in trouble.   You lift me up out of the mire.   You restore the joy of my salvation.  Thank you for Jesus .  Help me fix my heart on you, Jesus. Your love, your delight and your great sacrifice for me, my soul.   Do not let me put my feelings and what seems to be so real and hard, above what I know of you, of truth.   I have few ...

So. I did something stupid.  Something that I thought I'd never do.  Something that really shouldn't be a big deal, but turned out to be one for me. Something that i regret very very  much. I dyed my hair.  Now...already, some of you might be reading this and thinking "drama queen."  Yes.  That is quite accurate and fair.  i have been just that. *pause*.  i am going to type no caps from now on b/c israel messed with the shift key and it is a lot of work for me to press it and i like to type fast when i'm in a rant-like-thingie. ;) anyway. back to drama queen.  let me tell you why i was am so bugged.  i wanted to just lighten my hair up a bit since i have been an albino mom all summer and hadn't gotten any natural sun highlighting like i usually do.  i also didn't want to pay the outrageous price for a professional highlight job.  sooooo on a really huge impulse i went to buy a box of dye from the store.  my firs...

So, in all honesty, I have had some mommy woes on and off since, well...being a mommy.  I have never been passionate about babies/kids and have always just said "we'll cross that bridge when it comes."  Welp, it has come.  And I have a beautiful baby boy. :) Let me just give you a little picture of some of the mild "woes" I have had in adjusting to my "never-used-to-be-passionate-about-but-now-I-have-to-be" role. I won't talk about the typical difficulties that I am sure all moms have...you know, like loss of sleep, dietary issues, teething, etc.  More so, just little "funny" things that throughout the day, you just say, "really?   really?! to, and then laugh (you know, the sarcastic-ish "well, it's better to laugh than cry).* For instance, figuring out what sort of solid foods to feed little man.  He is like his *cough* momma in that when he finds something he likes he gets stuck on it.   First, it was sweet potato...

SIN Rebellion . Satan's twisted version of what God made good.  Beauty out of context. Love for self, love of flesh instead of love for God. Desires of the flesh calling out... False promises. Misery. Loneliness. Grief. Destruction. Momentary fun. Eternal misery. Defeat. Despair. Bondage. Vomit. Blood. Grasping. Falling. Hate. Anger. Punishment. Pride. Fall. Bitterness. Jealousy. Efforts. Failure. Passions. Lust. Greed. Abuse. Hopelessness. DEAD. FLESH.   Rotten, stinking flesh.  Like a pig dressed up for a ball, a ring in our snout, we go out and make our debuts, are traced by our trail of mud, and thrown back into our pen of filth.  Jude 12-13: "These are hidden reefs at your love feasts as they feast with you without fear, shepherds feeding themselves; waterless clouds, swept along by winds; fruitless trees in late autumn, twice dead, uprooted; wild waves of the sea, casting up the foam of their own shame; wandering stars, for whom the gloom of utter darkne...

Today is Saturday. I want so desperately to blog, but I don't want to write a book, nor do I have anything specific to write about.  Just a bunch of thoughts buzzing around my head. Things like...I really really love the rapper KB that our friends Clint and Rachel introduced us to.  Some SOLID rappin' skillz there and the lyrics run deep.  The beat is also pretty rockin'...but...here's a question...is it wrong to "get down" to christian music in the privacy of your own home?  I almost feel sacrilegious...Or would it be worse to dance to secular music?  Please don't tell me not to dance at all....I'm bouncin' in my chair as I sit here typing just thinking about music... Also, as I sit here typing, I have been indulging in these: Although I have to say I wish there were actually the gelato that was once in the container, these ghirardelli chocolate chips (dark) are uh-mazing! I wish the month of September didn't look like...