Ten Years

 Ten years.  Marriage does not always look like belly-laughs and crinkled smile eyes. In fact, in all honesty, if there were a picture for every emotion we have encountered together, I know that the tears would be a thicker stack of photos than the laughs.  

Why might I start a “happy anniversary” post with such a seemingly gloomy comment?  Well, because there is beauty in the tears. There are promises that are present that carry both amazing comfort and joy.  Promises that are rooted in God’s faithfulness and plans for his people.  

See, there is no security or joy in trying our best to muster up some feelings of love and doing all that is in our power to “just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” Being a Dory might work when you’re trying to find your lost parents, but in the case of marriage, it will lead to fatigue, anger, bitterness, despair and hurt.  Why? Because our own efforts of love are weak at best. They are often tied to selfish motivations or simply, don’t meet the deep need and longings that we all have to be loved.  Love, true love, comes from God (1 John 4:7). 

I’m not going to do justice explaining the Gospel and how it effects our marriage, but I’m sure going to try, because God is the Gospel (good news!), He is our lifeline, and our joy and our hope in marriage. 

I’m going to start with 1 Peter: 3-5: 

“…According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God's power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.”

I am starting here, because my husband (with whom I am celebrating ten years of mawwiage with!) shared some insight on the words that have stuck with me and helped me not only in my personal walk with Jesus, but also in our marriage.  

God has called us, loved us while we were still sinners, reconciled us to Himself by pouring the wrath we deserved on His son, made us his own by adoption as sons and daughters, gave us the righteousness of Christ and an eternal inheritance, and salvation that is being guarded through faith.  

When I struggle in life to wonder if I will “lose my faith” because of difficult circumstances either in my own life or in others’, when I wrestle with craving justice in a situation but failing to see it, when I am tired, so tired of pursuing my own heart and holiness and not seemingly producing any fruit, I can look back at the phrase “who by God’s power are being guarded through faith” and find immense comfort and security (phew, what a sentence!).  

I am going to quote the insight given to me by my hubs: 

“The word translated “guarded” in the phrase “guarded by faith” is the Gk word phroureō. Blue Letter Bible lexicon defines it as: “to guard, protect by a military guard, either to prevent hostile invasion, or to keep the inhabitants of a besieged city from flight.” Short version: protected from attack, and protected from escape.” 

Our faith is not kept by mustering up faith to believe, and hoping for some feeling of security, but rather, by the power of God who is both protecting it from attack, and us from escaping it.  That, is huge.  God is keeping our faith safe and us ready for our eternal inheritance.  

Ok, finally the Gospel tie to marriage.  Marriage is both indescribable joy and companionship, and it is war.  We are called to be on our guard, stand firm in the faith, be courageous, be strong (1 Col 16:13), for we have a very real enemy who is hell bent on destroying marriages.  He hates marriage, because God is the author of love and marriage (Matt 19:6). 

 But, no matter the bumps, angst, sorrow, or struggles we might face (and do face on occasion) in life as husband and wife, we have the promises of the faithful one to hold on to and source power from. God is love (1 John 4:16).  When we abide in Him, we bear fruit, when we do not, we can do nothing (John 15:4). 

Marriage is a reflection and a glimpse of our marriage to Christ.  While sin has broken earthly marriages, God gives us power to remain faithful in love and fruitful in the joy of persevering in Him, with the promise of the perfect and eternal marriage to the Lamb that is undefiled!  

Both Joshua and I can link arms in the unity of what God has put together (Col 3:14).  We can trust that He is our source of love, and our means to remain “in love.”  If he can hold our salvation safe for us, He can hold our marriage.  And not just a drudging, obligatory marriage, but one full of fruit, life, joy, and yes, even crinkle smiles and belly laughs.  As long as our efforts, our source of love, is rooted in God.  Instead of trudging on in despair when things get hard or don’t seem to change, we can walk forward in the hope of the promise that we have both been given by God.  

“Behold, I am doing a new thing;

    now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

    and rivers in the desert.” -Isaiah 43:19

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” John 14:27

This is our God. 

So instead of swimming, we “just keep surrendering, just keep surrendering” to the one who holds and keeps all things.  

Happy (yes, truly happy!) 10 years with my love.