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Do you ever find yourself telling God how exactly he needs to take care of you?  I do. 

 God promises to care for his children, right?  I am his child.  Therefore, I can just build this big detailed picture of what that care looks like, and expect God to do it, right?  

 WRONG. 

 Let's take a few examples of recent ways in which I have been praying to the Lord to please, PLEASE do his work. My mouth (pain, infection, risk to baby), my body during pregnancy (difficulties!) and...a big one...the election.  

 With my health, I find myself telling God "Lord, if you just heal my mouth, I would have such a testimony to tell people!  If you just do a healing miracle, how amazing would that make you look!  God, I can't understand why you would allow something that could put my child at risk!  God, I told you I would have a better attitude this round of pregnancy, but I was really hoping you would allow me mobility...show your graciousness and care there.  Father, you KNOW I have a son to run around after, right?  Why do my prayers seem pointless?  Why do you seem silent?"  

 And with the election...God, what are you doing??  You knew that Obama would win the election...you allowed it.  How is this good?  How can we trust you?  I'm scared!  

 OK Sarah, stop.  Just stop.  Since when do we know what we need ultimately?  Since when were you sovereign above all?  Since when can you see and know exactly what is best for you?  Since when does God need me to define what brings him glory? 

 SINCE NEVER.

 Do I believe that God created the universe and every little detail of my body (Genesis)? Do I believe that He is sovereign over all (Psalm 103:19)?  Do I believe that he is more than able to do MORE than we ask (Ephesians)?  Do I believe He is only good (Psalm 100:5)? Do I believe that He is with me and will NEVER forsake me (Hebrews 13:5)?  Do I believe that if I cast my cares on Him, He will care for me (Psalm 55:22)?

 Yes.  YES YES YES YES.  

 I believe all of that. 

 So maybe...Maaaayyybbbeee the Lord is doing something BETTER than I had originally planned.  Maybe he wants to grow me in my trusting Him.  Maybe what I think best is not best.  Maybe he is protecting me and my growing babe in ways that I cannot see.  I believe Lord, help my unbelief.  Oh God, PLEASE help my unbelief for, it is great.  I do not need to fear.  I do not need to "muster up my strength" and just push through.  I can ask the holy spirit for his enabling power to help me be strong.  To help me trust the Lord.  To help me have an eternal perspective.  

 I am such a fretter.  An anxious ridden person.  I sometimes drive myself insane and I wish that I could just for a second shut my brain off.  When this happens, I need to be meditating on all the goodness of the Lord that has already come to pass.  For one, I already have the most imperative and crucial gift that I will ever need or want....my eternal salvation.  It is sealed.  This alone, is far more than I deserve.  Additionally, when I look at and recount all of the times that God has been faithful (too many to count) and all of the times he hasn't been (never)...that should encourage and cultivate more of a trusting heart.  

 So.  When I feel the urge to tell God what and how he needs to fulfill his promises...simply put...I need to just say "Shut up, Sarah!"....err...something like that.  Then, think on these words... 

 "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more vulnerable than they?"  -Matthew 6:26

 "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

 James 1:2-8:

2 Count it all joy, my brothers,[b] when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

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