BigFatOofta

i've always leaned more towards being a realist...even pessimist.  strong. aware. understanding. i've even spent a large chunk of my life being emotionally private.  boiled down, these adjectives lead to one huge word for me: PROTECTIVE . what i'm about to write about came to my attention as i was reminiscing over my childhood hobbies, toys and activities.  while some of these interests of mine just plainly spell out TOMBOY, i think there is possibly something there that goes even deeper (and i'll explain in just a bit). growing up, some of my favorite activities and toys included: lego castles, dreaming of one day owning a pocket watch, knife, gun and sword, barbie accompanied by my GI Joe (ken was stupid), rock collecting (and treasure collecting), building forts, dissecting road kill, gymnastics, smoking fake cigars and chewing fake tobacco (from wild grapes), making mud pots, spying on the neighbors, playing detective, riding my "motorcycle," sp...

valentines day.  ohhhhh valentines day.  i have been thinking about what i could do for my husband to bless his socks off .  but...i have been thinking of it through the filter of:       1. he doesn't really care one way or another about "doing" or "giving" things on holidays...we could not            say "happy valentines day to the other and it not matter (i think...).      2.  i have a limited budget for a gift, plus i'd just be spending his money anyway.      3. notes and words mean a lot to him but they aren't necessarily his primary love language.       4. he works on v-day. SO, with these four factors i am considering whilst thinking about "what can i do to bless my husband,".... ideas are running short.   what is a woman to do? well, of course!  write a tribute to him that he won't know about (until he reads it) on my blog, telling the w...

I'm not mad at the Superbowl.  I'm not mad at the love and joy of coming together and watching the game with family and friends...and of course, food.  I'm not upset that people love to laugh at funny commercials.  There's nothing in and of itself wrong with that.  Never mind that the half-time show almost always has reason to generate 1232398482 comments on facebook about how immodest or scandalous or sexy some singer/dancer is.  Never mind that just about every Superbowl commercial is using sex to sell their product.  Never mind that the Superbowl is the number one event in America for sex-slavery.  These are just the sad and sordid results of what our culture values most.  Where the hearts of our people lie.   Sex.  Our culture is all about sex.  and... It's not just at the Superbowl!!! Sex is in the magazine rack at the grocery store.  It's in the parking lot as a dude checks out some girl walking by's...

So, because i treasure every moment (or at least try to) of my days of motherhood...I am going to document via pictures what has gone down at the 'spoti residence as of 11:32 am (to be precise).  This is considered one of my more chill and relaxed days... (ummm does doing a kick-butt workout on said relaxed and chill days create a very messed up picture?  Hmm...) This particular blog is particularly frustrating to write today because of a particular computer.  Not only does my shift key keep sticking (and now the "a" key so i keep having to pound it out) but...i had to wait minutes in between uploading each picture with messages of crashing....like so: Anyway....particular frustrations aside...good thing I have coffee and espresso beans...'cus some days you just need both. Joshua and I read through Psalm 30 before he left....awesome. :)  I tried to have an added time of journaling with coffee and candles....nice right? However, sir "hang-...

****i wrote this several years ago...but since in this writing i reflect on psalm 119, which is the psalm that our sermon was on today (awesome encouragement by the way), and since i am at a similar spot as when i wrote this....i'm re-posting.  **** When times of transition loom ahead,and there are vast bubbles of unknown...Am I scared? No. I can talk my way out of fear, and stuff my emotions aside. Tell myself I don't feel scared. However, how does one connect the head to the heart? Do we submit our emotions to our will...and then submit our will to God? How do we trust Him more than just verbalizing trust? I want to without a doubt, wholeheartedly, with every part of my being, trust Him.  Stop.  How big are my struggles? How much potential in the unknown is there for hard times? Lots. I can easily stress out. But then I look around. So and so has it worse than I do. OK. But, how do I handle what seems to be such a large struggle to me?! The feelings that are not in...

SO... I recently wrote a post about people pleasing and beauty, but, after thinking about it and having some feedback from a friend and my husband, I decided to take it down.  Why?  Because...it sounded more like a ranting/complaining/passive aggressive portrayal rather than a vulnerable portrayal of hurt that I have learned good/valuable lessons from and want to encourage other women with.  My motive was wanting to encourage, not rant.  So...I thought I'd just type up a few of those thoughts with out  some of the examples I wrote in last time. I have been thinking about the subject of people pleasing for a long time...(only most of my LIFE!) because I....am a people pleaser.  I have fear of man. There are many ways that my striving to please man has affected my life, but I'm going to focus/gab a bit on women and beauty.  Why beauty?  Because we live in a culture where it is hard-pressed on us women from every angle, that in order to mat...

"you are just "one of those people."   one of those who as a kid, didn't swear except alone on my bicycle when angered, never had an interest in drugs or alcohol, remained a virgin until marriage.  was homeschooled, loved Jesus, went to church and did church things.  in college my friends found pleasure in "educating" me in some of the more vulgar meanings of sexual innuendos.  my first kiss was in my first relationship at age 23. my second relationship turned out to continue into marriage with my husband.  since then my husband and i have decided to monitor what we take in with media.  we are cleaning up our diet/educating ourselves.  wanted and did a water home birth with our son.  have strong belief's on what we believe to be important biblical truths.  the list goes on on how the phrase "those people" has been acquired.  depending who you are, this list could look nice or confusingly ridiculous.  regardless.... i'm still...