Skip to main content

This is how we know what love is...in a disorganized fashion.

hello misunderstanding. rejection. good day, snubbing. resentment. hi, judging. assumptions. you hurt. you don't know me. if you knew me would you think that? does it matter? why should it? why does it? get out of my brain!


why do i struggle so? here are some brutally hard yet freeing questions i have had to look in the face lately and the answers to those questions are not exactly "comfortable" or "ideal" but what the Lord has laid on my heart.


Questions for third person sarah:
*ahem*
Dear Sarah,
-who is your greatest joy and treasure? is it Jesus or people?
-what is your identity? Is it all that You are because of Jesus in you (you believe that the only good you have in yourself is Jesus right?) or what people see you as or ascribe to you?
-do you make people and their affirmation and love an idol?
-what are your motivations for pursuing people? loving them?
-are you willing to love people with the love the Savior has freely and undeservedly bestowed on you?
-are you willing to be used by the Lord and obedient in love whether you receive it in return or not?
-if someone hurts you or refuses to understand or know you,can you rest secure in the love of Christ?
-what does it mean to love successfully?


*exit third person sarah questions*...


Wow. sometimes the Lord really hits you with a lot at once, but when He reveals and hits you with truth, it's sooooo worth it. He is showing me how truly unworthy and sinful my heart is. How completely undeserving I am of His grace...yet how blessed and desperate and thankful I am to have His steadfast love. His unending mercies. His daily grace. If I received back in return how I treat God, I would be so utterly miserable and hopeless. Praise the LORD for He is GOOD! His love endures forever.


One good thing about being perceptive and often being right in what I perceive about a person....is that it helps me understand how I might be able to bless someone. MAJOR downside of such perceptiveness is that there are times that I am very much wrong. On top of this, I start to base my abilities to "successfully" love (by successfully I mean I get positive results from loving that person) a person off of what i do. "positive" results can look like returned care or being able to encourage a person, or the person receives my love for what it is, or ....on and on...but really successfully loving someone...isn't that being able to love like Christ loves us? Isn't that loving without expecting gain? Now, I realize that the Lord asks us to be faithful and ask Him to do great things, and He will do them for us. But that's just it, isn't it? HE does great things. not me. People receiving my love or who i am etc etc has nothing to do with my own capabilities or worth, it is the power of Christ in me. I may never see the fruit of my love, but the Lord asks us to love our brother as Christ loves us, and therefore, we can trust that HE will be changer of hearts. HE will encourage hearts. HE will love hearts. Not because of me...but CHRIST in me. And...I reap the fruit of loving with Gospel love even when the Gospel love is not received by people. I reap because the Lord does great things in my heart when I ask Him for love and He gives it and it overflows to others. This means that I don't worry about understanding the "whys" of people's actions or thoughts, I don't become discouraged when misunderstood, I don't need to justify what I see is unjust, I don't need to be known by people. I DO need to remember the greatness of the Gospel in my life, revel in who I am because of Christ in me, be confident in His love, and delight in his acceptance.


Do justice. Love kindness. Walk humbly with my Lord. Micah 6:8


By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.


By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:16-20




PREACH YOURSELF THE GOSPEL, SARAH! DOOOOO it!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Tired As A Mother

Almost asleep. *baby cries*  Nurse 20 min sleep.  *baby cries* Nurse Repeat. All through the night. 3 days in a row. Teething.  I'm tired.  However, I'm not just tired physically.  It seems like all of the health-nut people are making/raving about all these delicious looking "health bombs" or "fat bombs" or "tastes-like-grass-but-it-looks-good bombs."  Bombs, that when a bite is taken from one, the result is an explosion of healthy nutrients in your mouth.    ***see pictures below***   Yeah.  Well, if I were a bomb, I'd be a tired  bomb.  My tired bomb consists of a dangerous mix of no energy, no motivation, anger that I'm tired, anger for no reason, dysfunctional fog brain,  tears about everything, but mostly tears because I'm tired, where just about anything  could set it (me) off. Biting into my tired bomb is ugly. Unhealthy.  I dread the Sarah who doesn't get sleep. I regre...

The Endless Quest for Unity

  Definition of unity: 1a : the quality or state of not being multiple : oneness I have often struggled with the word “unity,” but I have been confronted with it over and again lately.   A few examples:  -Looking for it in the middle of a conflict with my spouse -Hearing it touted as the goal for America by government leaders -In issues of racism, unity is the cry of many.  -The church is called to be unified over and again in scripture I have struggled with the word unity as it just seems like this unattainable mountain when I look at it with my human eyes.  I think, because I want to “feel” something before I can be unified with something.  I want to make something happen, ultimately, justice, before considering unity.  I need to know that I can trust the person who is calling me to be unified in the area, or with person xyz.   Funny how you can know the truth for so long, but then one day, your “knowing” hits you in the face as ...

Ten Years

  Ten years.  Marriage does not always look like belly-laughs and crinkled smile eyes. In fact, in all honesty, if there were a picture for every emotion we have encountered together, I know that the tears would be a thicker stack of photos than the laughs.   Why might I start a “happy anniversary” post with such a seemingly gloomy comment?  Well, because there is beauty in the tears. There are promises that are present that carry both amazing comfort and joy.  Promises that are rooted in God’s faithfulness and plans for his people.   See, there is no security or joy in trying our best to muster up some feelings of love and doing all that is in our power to “just keep swimming, just keep swimming…” Being a Dory might work when you’re trying to find your lost parents, but in the case of marriage, it will lead to fatigue, anger, bitterness, despair and hurt.  Why? Because our own efforts of love are weak at best. They are often tied to selfish motivat...