Confession. I have been going around lately with a bad case of coveting. Maybe not obvious coveting but...if you get to the heart of my motivations...it is coveting. Soooo...mainly...to sum it up...I haven't been feeling well/had a lot of pain lately (back, head, neck) and with that I haven't been active and have been extremely exhausted. Whenever I am exhausted I am also extra emotional. ANYWAY. where does the coveting come in? It comes in when I look at people going about their normal lives and wishing I could do the same. In fact, I have been wanting that so badly, to feel well and to go about my normal life.....ha! There it is..."normal life"....that has been where my heart has been. Not seeing every event as part of God's plan for me. Rather, I tend to take the good and attribute that to God, and the bad and say well..once I get through this bad, I can go back to normal life (aka the selfish desire to have no pain or problems). C.S. Lewis sums up exactly what I mean by this (thank you Mrs. C for sharing the quote!):
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ’own’, or ’real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day: what one calls one’s real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination.” C.S. Lewis
Real life..."normal life" ...is not living in a state of comfort, happiness and no problems or pain. Real life is pressing in towards the goal of knowing the Lord. Of preparing ourselves and each other for our real home, which will be with Christ someday. Knowing the Lord better, and growing closer to Him, comes not through comfort, etc....but through suffering. Not always suffering, for the Lord delights in blessing His children and promises to take care of all our needs. But...we
are told that we will suffer and that we can count it PURE JOY! "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). I don't know what the Lord has planned through different sufferings in life, but I do know that I can choose to allow them into my life...as REAL life...as experiencing just a TaSTE of what Christ suffered here on earth. Sinless He was, yet took on ALL OUR sin...suffering so that we can have our relationship with God restored. Yes!
So...in the physical pain I have been experiencing...I have also fallen into not feeling like I can enjoy the obvious things that He has and is blessing me with. I have caught myself saying...well I would enjoiy this more if I felt better...if these "problems" would go away. No! That is not how it has to be. I think part of my wrong attitude is 1) not remembering the holiness and worthiness of God, and 2) not pressing into the goal of knowing Him and living life for HIS kingdom. I was reading through Philippians and Revelation the other day and in both, I was reminded of the WHOLE POINT of our being here...and that is to worship the Lord, to give Him glory, because He truly IS HOLY!!
Revelation 5:11-14
"Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang:
"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!"
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
"To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!" The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped."
Wow. How often is my mind and heart on the holiness and worthiness on God? Usually it is on myself and my desires...and that is always going to be my inclination until restoration. Until we are fully restored. BUT...I can and will and do have right motivations and heart when I press in to the the Lord, fellowship with Him. Seek Him....because He GIVES that to me. Not because I can do that on my own. Grace.
Phil. 3:12-21: "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained....our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."
Yes!! This is my prayer. That I the Lord would give me a desire and hunger for Him here on this earth, a craving for our permanant home with Him, and a purpose to live for and know Him as much as I can until the day the day that the Lord gives us new restored bodies. Until the day that I stand before Him, see His face and worship Him in His holiness and worthiness. That I would not live to get back to what the world would call real life...but be thankful for everything that He allows or gives...knowing that it is only GRACE...HIS grace...that allows us to do anything! Will that mean I stop asking Him to relieve me of the physical pain I have been having? No! Because I trust that He has the power to heal and that He only wants good for His children. But, I will also ask Him to help me not make that my motivation for praying to Him, for seeking Him...I don't want to pray just so that I can get something I want to happen, happen. No. I want to seek Him because He is Holy! He is worthy and good and loving! I can look back and meditate on all the good He has done in my life and take heart that this too will pass and that He is with me through it all.
I will end with Psalm 77:10-15:
Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ’own’, or ’real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day: what one calls one’s real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination.” C.S. Lewis
Real life..."normal life" ...is not living in a state of comfort, happiness and no problems or pain. Real life is pressing in towards the goal of knowing the Lord. Of preparing ourselves and each other for our real home, which will be with Christ someday. Knowing the Lord better, and growing closer to Him, comes not through comfort, etc....but through suffering. Not always suffering, for the Lord delights in blessing His children and promises to take care of all our needs. But...we
are told that we will suffer and that we can count it PURE JOY! "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4). I don't know what the Lord has planned through different sufferings in life, but I do know that I can choose to allow them into my life...as REAL life...as experiencing just a TaSTE of what Christ suffered here on earth. Sinless He was, yet took on ALL OUR sin...suffering so that we can have our relationship with God restored. Yes!
So...in the physical pain I have been experiencing...I have also fallen into not feeling like I can enjoy the obvious things that He has and is blessing me with. I have caught myself saying...well I would enjoiy this more if I felt better...if these "problems" would go away. No! That is not how it has to be. I think part of my wrong attitude is 1) not remembering the holiness and worthiness of God, and 2) not pressing into the goal of knowing Him and living life for HIS kingdom. I was reading through Philippians and Revelation the other day and in both, I was reminded of the WHOLE POINT of our being here...and that is to worship the Lord, to give Him glory, because He truly IS HOLY!!
Revelation 5:11-14
"Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they sang:
"Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain,
to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
and honor and glory and praise!"
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing:
"To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb
be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!" The four living creatures said, "Amen," and the elders fell down and worshiped."
Wow. How often is my mind and heart on the holiness and worthiness on God? Usually it is on myself and my desires...and that is always going to be my inclination until restoration. Until we are fully restored. BUT...I can and will and do have right motivations and heart when I press in to the the Lord, fellowship with Him. Seek Him....because He GIVES that to me. Not because I can do that on my own. Grace.
Phil. 3:12-21: "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained....our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."
Yes!! This is my prayer. That I the Lord would give me a desire and hunger for Him here on this earth, a craving for our permanant home with Him, and a purpose to live for and know Him as much as I can until the day the day that the Lord gives us new restored bodies. Until the day that I stand before Him, see His face and worship Him in His holiness and worthiness. That I would not live to get back to what the world would call real life...but be thankful for everything that He allows or gives...knowing that it is only GRACE...HIS grace...that allows us to do anything! Will that mean I stop asking Him to relieve me of the physical pain I have been having? No! Because I trust that He has the power to heal and that He only wants good for His children. But, I will also ask Him to help me not make that my motivation for praying to Him, for seeking Him...I don't want to pray just so that I can get something I want to happen, happen. No. I want to seek Him because He is Holy! He is worthy and good and loving! I can look back and meditate on all the good He has done in my life and take heart that this too will pass and that He is with me through it all.
I will end with Psalm 77:10-15:
Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
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