I have a direct, blunt, not necessarily asked out of love question for "the" Rona V:
Why are you the way that you are?
I will attempt to not judge or accuse you, but I do want to let you know how I experience you.
*Disclaimer
INSTAGRAM AND PIZZA ADS:
Many of us, as we are in social isolation, are browsing the gram maybe-kinda-a little bit more than normal. For some reason, Instagram knows. It. KNOWS. It knows that as we have much more time on our hands, our stomachs have more time to send messages to the brain that pizza and pickup sounds really, really good. But of course, you know, our brains are having to fight back and tell our stomachs that all this extra time is a great opportunity to get in shape. So, many of us, we resist. We stand strong and get that Tik Tok cardio workout dance video made. Then, we open up the gram to post said video, and BAM. Pizza ad. "Support local business, keep the economy going, get your deliciously pictured pizza for dinner!" *sigh* Back to war.
This brings me to:
SPRING CLOTHING SEASON OF 2020
Why would I mention this? Well, let me just remind you of the Instagram pizza ads that I just mentioned. Need I say more? *Some* of us might need to *coughsizeupcough* after Rona leaves town, so we *might* be taking to the internet to browse the Spring styles. Of which, really, needs it's own "why are you the way that you are" post. So, here is my one question to Spring clothing, season 2020:
Why do your ruffled short-lengthed shirts look just like mine when I was this age, and what makes you think it is a good idea to make an appearance right now?! Also, the shorts. But, that would make me be asking two questions, so I'm just going to move on.
HOARDERS OF THE TP:
Rona, why did you turn people into TP hoarders? Why did you get into their brains and convince them that they need 239 months' worth in order to come out of this alive? Is this what's coming for the masses??
...I'd say it's quite possible that this tragic death could be the fate of the poor souls who didn't listen to your silly and unwarranted advice to go and be a hoarder. To those of you suffering from lack of TP, may you wipe in peace, one day soon.
Speaking of hoarding, let's move onto...
"COFFEE DRINKERS:"
Why do I put "coffee drinkers" in quotation marks? Why, it is because I drink real coffee. Coffee without quotations. Black. Wonderful. However, those who are just "coffee drinkers" are such that may be struggling desperately to acquire some sort of sickeningly sweet, how you say, "cream" to cloud up their liquid ambrosia. Again, because of hoarders. I'm thankful that I can walk through this difficult time without the loss of my coffee. To those of you who might fit the label in quotations, I still love you, you just drink weak coffee.
ORGANIC PRODUCE:
Now, this is one that has been baffling me. Why is it that on any normal day, there seems to be a plethora of organic produce laying around for purchase. Often times, it is going bad, because people seem to buy up the non-organic cheaper produce. However, once Rona storms in, all of a sudden the organic shelves are wiped bare. Yet, there is still plenty to be found in the normal produce isles. *scratches head* I'm actually really confused about this...
THE WEATHER:
Sleet. Rain. Thunderstorms. Cold temps.
Rona V, You suck! Why'd you have to send Spring away? You knew I liked it! That, that was just a sucky thing to do, man!
...
Finally, in conclusion, thank goodness for Netflix. There is still plenty of bears, beets and Battlestar Galactica.
*disclaimer: This post is intended to lighten the mood in hard times. I love you just the way you are!
disclaimer a. Just not Rona
disclaimer b. I actually do judge and accuse Rona
Why are you the way that you are?
I will attempt to not judge or accuse you, but I do want to let you know how I experience you.
*Disclaimer
INSTAGRAM AND PIZZA ADS:
Many of us, as we are in social isolation, are browsing the gram maybe-kinda-a little bit more than normal. For some reason, Instagram knows. It. KNOWS. It knows that as we have much more time on our hands, our stomachs have more time to send messages to the brain that pizza and pickup sounds really, really good. But of course, you know, our brains are having to fight back and tell our stomachs that all this extra time is a great opportunity to get in shape. So, many of us, we resist. We stand strong and get that Tik Tok cardio workout dance video made. Then, we open up the gram to post said video, and BAM. Pizza ad. "Support local business, keep the economy going, get your deliciously pictured pizza for dinner!" *sigh* Back to war.
This brings me to:
SPRING CLOTHING SEASON OF 2020
Why would I mention this? Well, let me just remind you of the Instagram pizza ads that I just mentioned. Need I say more? *Some* of us might need to *coughsizeupcough* after Rona leaves town, so we *might* be taking to the internet to browse the Spring styles. Of which, really, needs it's own "why are you the way that you are" post. So, here is my one question to Spring clothing, season 2020:
Why do your ruffled short-lengthed shirts look just like mine when I was this age, and what makes you think it is a good idea to make an appearance right now?! Also, the shorts. But, that would make me be asking two questions, so I'm just going to move on.
HOARDERS OF THE TP:
Rona, why did you turn people into TP hoarders? Why did you get into their brains and convince them that they need 239 months' worth in order to come out of this alive? Is this what's coming for the masses??
...I'd say it's quite possible that this tragic death could be the fate of the poor souls who didn't listen to your silly and unwarranted advice to go and be a hoarder. To those of you suffering from lack of TP, may you wipe in peace, one day soon.
Speaking of hoarding, let's move onto...
"COFFEE DRINKERS:"
Why do I put "coffee drinkers" in quotation marks? Why, it is because I drink real coffee. Coffee without quotations. Black. Wonderful. However, those who are just "coffee drinkers" are such that may be struggling desperately to acquire some sort of sickeningly sweet, how you say, "cream" to cloud up their liquid ambrosia. Again, because of hoarders. I'm thankful that I can walk through this difficult time without the loss of my coffee. To those of you who might fit the label in quotations, I still love you, you just drink weak coffee.
ORGANIC PRODUCE:
Now, this is one that has been baffling me. Why is it that on any normal day, there seems to be a plethora of organic produce laying around for purchase. Often times, it is going bad, because people seem to buy up the non-organic cheaper produce. However, once Rona storms in, all of a sudden the organic shelves are wiped bare. Yet, there is still plenty to be found in the normal produce isles. *scratches head* I'm actually really confused about this...
THE WEATHER:
Sleet. Rain. Thunderstorms. Cold temps.
Rona V, You suck! Why'd you have to send Spring away? You knew I liked it! That, that was just a sucky thing to do, man!
...
Finally, in conclusion, thank goodness for Netflix. There is still plenty of bears, beets and Battlestar Galactica.
*disclaimer: This post is intended to lighten the mood in hard times. I love you just the way you are!
disclaimer a. Just not Rona
disclaimer b. I actually do judge and accuse Rona
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