Thursday, April 23, 2015

The Faces of Pride





Hey friends,

So it is a bit uncomfortable to share the following with you as I am a beginner/not professional in my writing skills.  At first I started writing a "rap" with a chorus and then I think it turned more into a poem or spoken word?  Whatever this is, it's from my heart and I hope that it encourages and challenges. 


The Faces Of Pride


I've been walkin' around with all sorts of bruises, life of wounds and wrong thinking, but to admit this my heart refuses 
'cus PRIDE.
Pride has many colors, many fingers and motives; to think I have immunity from any shade is just bogus.
Self-pity, it is pride, and it's wanting to be noticed; it's feeling sad for myself that my beauty is below His. 


I've got these shackles in the way, oh God I pray take them away; every-time I seek your face it feels like you turn it away, God no! 
please stay! 
Don't abandon my soul to the grave, no, I know in Psalms you say, that you've not abandoned me this day; you have delivered me.
I wanna be rid of disgrace, this constant striving for acceptance; but then I mess up again and think it's time to pay penance.


I get all bent out of shape at how humans treat me; I want to justify myself when they try to unseat me.  
such pain.
It's cus' there I go again trying to beat all that is wrong, instead of singing "this is my story, and this is my song."
Forgiveness, it is mine, and it's free, glory be!  Christ died a perfect death in my place, he hung on the tree. 

So.

Whatcha gonna do when you build on the sand
Whatcha gonna do when your right hand man
is youuuuu? 
is youuu? 

Whatcha gonna do when you're sinking down
The clay gives way and you start to drown 
you prayyyyy
I pray


If God is so loving, also sovereign and good, then why did he make us, I've misunderstood.
what's good?
We're created by him and for him, his Word makes that clear; but why does he want me when I scoff and don't fear? 
I have raised myself high and stolen your glory, but when I find myself wanting I yell out "Lord, help me!" 

The problem is not that we live without knowledge; no, we think for ourselves, study up, go to college. 
We learn, we take in, and form our worldview; but we desire self-glory and worship smart thinking in lieu. 
of you.
Itching ears want to hear and the heart is deceitful, so to figure it out on your own, without His Word is just lethal. 


Whatcha gonna do when you build on the sandWhatcha gonna do when your right hand man
is youuuuu? 
is youuu? 

Whatcha gonna do when you're sinking down
The clay gives way and you start to drown 
you prayyyyy
I pray


So.


So it seems the main problem is me thinking I'm no problem; trusting in my own understanding of who God is and what my heart says. 
Thinking I have arrived and there's nothing new to learn, of my patient Father God that he is kind and not just stern.  
I must learn to discern when I'm just trying hard to earn, my way, what I want instead of making a return. 
to my knees.


SURRENDER


How dare you, how dare me try to be what we are not; all powerful, sovereign, and perfect like God. 
it's disgraceful.
You have washed me in your blood; you have covered me with grace; 
while I have sought out my own pleasures, not the beauty of your face.
I long to kill this pride, heal inside from all these lies, but the journey will stop short 'till I find you, my God, the prize. 


so.


So I am sinking down, sinking down not on the sand; I'm dropping to my knees to surrender you my right hand.
oh, God.
Believing in the power that is released when our hands meet; rejoicing as all the lies I have believed fall in defeat.
You are my king and my God, and that's nothing short of glorious;
I raise my hands in praise, you rose from the grave VICTORIOUS!


(C) Sarah Codispoti, April 2015

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